Colin
“Colin” for those who are uninitiated, is an independent zombie movie that has been given a lot of attention lately. With this in mind, I purchased a copy on DVD and watched it this evening. Here are my thoughts.
Firstly, “Colin” has a simple, (almost) linear, narrative. It follows the fortunes of (and this will be a surprise to no one) Colin a hapless youth who falls foul of an unexplained zombie outbreak.
Reportedly filmed for about £45 “Colin” has been the talk of the town since Cannes, where it received wide approval and plaudit. Where they got a camera, editing software and a machine to run nit on, for £45 is anyone’s guess (my guess, they kinda, sorta forgot to include this stuff in the budget). Anyway, on to the movie as a piece of art.
Much of the film is recorded in migraine inducing hand-held shaky-cam. This is one strike down in my book. Too much of anything is tiring, too much of nothing to see but flashing images is tiring and uninteresting. You get the feeling that the main purpose of the camera work is to cover for poor lighting and shoddy makeup. And when shaky-cam was not an option, they went for grainy texture art film – oh dear.
Does the film have a coherent narrative. Well, yes and no. The film follows the hapless Colin through his journey as a zombie returning to the point of his infection at his girlfriend’s flat. And this could have been so interesting, but it’s not.
It would be nice to report that the scenes where Colin, before being infected, is struggling with his, now infected, girlfriend, where in some respect moving. That his infection was the result of some noblesse oblige, but, much as this is what the film makers seem to want to portray, it just does not work.
Along the way we encounter a series of unsympathetic, vacuous characters with whom we, the audience, have difficulty relating. The one notable exception being Colin’s sister, but even this character is effectively assassinated by too saccharin a treatment (and her final conversion to a zombie, of course). The family, who attempt to ‘deprogramme’ Colin are apparently too stupid to lock doors, and so Colin and newly zombified sister make a rapid escape from the familial home so recently fortified by blacking out the windows with newspaper bearing stories of ‘walking dead’ (see what I mean be heavy handed imagery?).
The film is at times heavy on imagery. Again, unfortunately, much of this is cliched and unimaginative.
Does the score rescue the film? No. It is heavy handed and uninspiring.
So, what does the film tell us? Firstly, it tells us that you apparently cannot make a good zombie movie for £45. Secondly, it tells us that a Cannes reaction is no indication of what constitutes an interesting movie. And thirdly, it tells us that even an interesting idea can be fucked up by someone.
A reasonable summary might be Cloverfield, meets Blair Witch, meets Wasting Away but with none of the merits, such as they are, of any of these films.
Sorry guys, I really wanted to like Colin. Truly, I wanted to discover an innovative, low budget, dynamic (or at least compelling) narrative film, but “Colin” is not that film.
Look, “Colin” is exactly what I would expect from a competently student made film using a budget of £45. Nothing more.
Add comment November 4, 2009
BNP on TV
The British National Party (BNP) are to appear this evening on a BBC broadcast of the popular Question Time programme and this has cause something of a storm in the media. This issue at hand is whether a political part that expresses views objectionable to many should be permitted such a public platform.
(For the benefit of those unaware of the BNPs views, they are a right wing party supported by bigots, racialists and xenophobes. Their main platform is the idea that Britain should be preserved for the British — their definition of ‘Britishness’ being entirely arbitrarily based largely on the parliamentary Nationality and Citizenship act of 1948 — and that most ills visited upon Britain are the result of a liberal immigration policy.)
Much of the ruckas is, of course, the media feeding upon itself; contention sells news. But there is a serious point about freedom to be made.
The BNP hold views that I find objectionable. They also express some views that I find sensible. It’s a mix. But we should bear in mind at all times that they have elected representatives and are a political party legally constituted and operating within the current British legal framework. To censor their views is to strike down a basic freedom enjoyed, until the government succeeds in its recent move to deny its citizens such freedom, by all British citizens; the freedom to express ourselves in the public forum.
The legitimate fear expressed by some is that allowing the BNP a platform will provide them with a means to propagate their bigotry to a wider audience, or more insidiously, to present a reasonable face to their bigotry. For the BNP to be seen by the populous as ‘reasonable’ is perhaps the most worrying thing for many. If the ubiquitous ‘man in the street’ sees the BNP as a reasonable alternative to the main political parties then he may be encouraged to vote for a BNP member of parliament. There is certainly some evidence to support this view. The BNP have gained ground in marginal constituencies by appealing to the baser instincts of the community, pointing to large immigrant populations and claiming that the economic problems of the area are due largely to this large immigrant population. This is, as any student of history will appreciate, an effective strategy and one employed to great effect by many nationalist leaders of the past (most infamously by Hitler).
None of this though should mean that any sector of society, let alone a legally constituted political party operating within the bounds of the law, should be denied freedom to express their views, no matter how objectionable those views might be.
Arguing that they are free to express their views, just not in a national broadcast, is to miss the point. If you find someone’s politics objectionable, then argue your case in the forum of public opinion. If your case has merit and theirs none then you will prevail. If their views pander to the constituent’s baser instincts then inform and educate people as to why these views are wrong. Glossing over the problem by denying your opponents a voice does nothing to address the problem; the ease with which people respond to such appeals. It is this ease with which people can be stirred to hatred that is the bigger concern and the more difficult issue to be addressed. Perhaps this is why it is easier to deny the BNP a platform than to address the real problem.
Add comment October 22, 2009
Homophobic journalist needs to be bitch slapped
One of my quintessentially British traits, some might say flaws, is a reluctance to complain. As a consequence I will often have a private but impotent rant at the news media when I come across an article that offends my sensibilities or reason. However. Every once in a while something so egregious, so offensive, so disgusting crosses my path that I feel I have to do something. One such occasion has just occurred.
In the UK there exists what I shall, for want of a better term, call a ‘newspaper’ called the Daily Mail. (I scare quote here because this publication seldom contains actual news.) The publication (ah, that’s a better word) represents all that is wrong with the media. It is horribly and unashamedly right wing, pandering to the racist, homophobic, and xenophobic elements in our society. The article in question was penned by one Jan Moir with the is title “A strange, lonely, and troubling death…” the article is Moir’s hateful interpretation of Stephen Gately’s death.
Moir is one of those people you would like to meet in a dark alley. Preferably with a few other like minded souls. Her article takes the usual hateful bigotry she spews and cranks it up a couple of notches. Unfortunately it is necessary to link to the article in question so that people can appreciate what a hollow soul Moir is. The article can be found here.
I could feel my hackles rising even as I read her execrable drivel through. On reaching the end I was bloody fuming and ready for another impotent rant at my computer monitor when some kindly soul pointed my toward the Press Complaints Commission (the purported watchdog of the UK press) website and more specifically their complaints form. Armed with this information I could turn a potentially impotent rant into something constructive, so I registered the following complaint.
Moir’s article distorts and deliberately misrepresents information supplied by the authorities, making no clear distinction between statements of fact and her own bigoted opinion, breaching clause 1.
Mr Gately’s actions on the night in question are a private matter unrelated to his death. Moir’s scurrilous article intrudes on Mr Gately’s privacy and that of his partner and family, in breach of clause 3.
It would be difficult to conceive a more intrusive article than that penned by Moir. The article is unnecessary, bigoted, hateful, speculative, opinionated and above all an intrusion on the grief of Mr Gately’s partner and family, in breach of clause 5.
In making Mr Gately’s homosexuality a central theme to her article Moir exhibits a callous disregard for clause 12 of the code of practice. The entire tone of the article is discriminatory, implying, quite clearly, that it was Mr Gately’s sexual preference and lifestyle (at least the lifestyle painted by Moir’s own tawdry homophobic imagination) that led to his death.
Whether anything comes of this remains to be seen. Given the strength of feeling generated on Twitter (admittedly not a particularly good barometer of effective complaints against the press) and the subsequent collapse of the PCC website, presumably under the weight of people trying to complain about this article, I suspect that it will make the news for this reason if not for the real reason that the article is disgusting and Moir should be held to account over it.
Add comment October 16, 2009
The I-Recorder
Forget the iPod, iPhone, or iMac. What I want is an I-Recorder (not an iRecorder); a device that records the internal chatter that is ‘I’.
Many are the times that I have thought to myself, ‘how I wish I had written down those thoughts’ or ‘I really should write that down’, but either a pen and paper where not at hand or I simply figured I would recall it all at a later time (yes, you would think I would have learned by now but as I doze of at night I’m not often inclined to get up to write down my thoughts).
With I-Record however, forgotten thoughts are a thing of the past. Simply rewind to last nights musing, cut and paste. No need to worry about recalling those thoughts. No need to carry a notebook or, as I do now, an iPhone with Evernote – the closest thing I have found to an I-Recorder so far.
Come on techies, get designing an I-Recorder.
Add comment September 29, 2009
Another day – whoosh!
Good grief how the day just files by when you’re concentrating.
I’ve been focussed on putting together a load of video demonstrations for this online training course I’m writing. Time has just flown by.
I’m gradually figuring our an effective (and increasingly efficient) workflow so my hope is that I will continue to increase the speed with which I produce each part of the course. (The good news being that all the writing is pretty much done.)
For those interested I’ve outlined my current workflow below. (more…)
Add comment September 29, 2009
Video game that deletes files
Someone has written a video game that, when played, deletes files from your machine. Each file is associated with an ‘invader’ and each time an invader is killed the corresponding file is deleted from your system.
Okay, the game is pointless. Or rather, dangerous to play on your own system. That is not the reason I am writing about it.
About five years ago, while working for a large organisation implementing a configuration management process, I was wiling away a lunch time discussing with one of the developers sitting nearby trying to devise an ‘evil’ game. It was during this conversation that I suggested just such a game; a game in which as you shot down your enemy (in my game it was a World War II dogfight) a file was deleted from your system. Enemy planes were assigned a score based on the size of the file with which it was associated; bigger file, higher points value. This system encouraged the player to pursue higher point scoring targets and consequently unwittingly delete larger files from their system. To allay suspicion the game would avoid system files until the end of the game – like I said, this was intended to be an evil game.
We were, of course, just batting about silly ideas and had no intention of actually writing the game, but I cannot help but wonder whether the meme created during that conversation has escaped and managed to get itself implemented.
The game, along with a video of it being played, can be found here. Credit for putting me onto it goes to GamePolitics.com.
Add comment September 25, 2009
Laptop behaving badly
Okay, this one took a few minutes to nail down.
For a while now, my MacBook Pro would suddenly announce I had requested a shut down by displaying the ‘Are you sure?’ dialog. This would be fine, if I had actually asked the damn thing to shut down.
This was just a minor irritation at first and I assumed I had knocked the shut down key on my keyboard (even though it is recessed – who knows, I may have been clumsy).
Anyway, this shut down prompt suddenly became very insistent yesterday. Every time I dismissed it it would reappear after a random time, sometimes immediately sometimes after a few seconds, but frequently enough to be very obstructive. Yesterday it seemed to stop after I closed down Safari and restarted the machine. For the rest of the day the system behaved impeccably. Why this should be I have no idea.
Anyway, today it became very insistent again. So much so that the machine was all but unusable this morning. Arse and double arse!
First suspect – low battery in the external wireless keyboard. Perhaps a low battery causes the keyboard to send odd signals? I see no reason it should and the keyboard battery indicator was not lit, but eliminating the easy things first is generally a good idea. Replace batteries. Problem persists. Unplug keyboard completely and use built in keyboard. Problem persists.
Next suspect – new USB hub which was added to system a few days ago. Unplug USB hub. Problem persists. Hmm!
Right, unplug all external devices. Ah ha! Problem goes away. Naked laptop works just fine.
Okay, add external screen back. Problem returns!
The 30" Apple Cinema HD monitor I use seems to be sending shutdown request to the machine. The monitor certainly has a power button on the side (one of those touch sensitive switches) and is certainly capable of telling the system to which it is attached to power down.
Now, the problem is, has the monitor developed a defect (in which case Apple can repair it under warranty) or has one of the recent updates to the OS caused it to behave this way? Or is there something in the environment that is causing the monitor to think the power key is pressed?
A quick dig into the monitor preferences reveals an option to ignore the power switch completely. Setting the preference to completely ignore the monitor power switch has solved the immediate problem and means I can once again use my system – hurrah!
I never use the power key on the monitor, so its loss is no big deal. I will have to take the monitor in to the local store and have them test it some time in the next couple of years (before the AppleCare program runs out) but for now the monitor itself is working fine so I’m not inclined to go through the pain of unplugging it all, boxing it and dragging myself to the Apple store (this monitor weight about 12kg and I know from when I bought it, it takes a fair bit of effort to lug around a shopping centre).
Add comment September 25, 2009
Going batty for a drink
Wow! Stunning photographs of bats in flight drinking from a garden pond captured by wildlife photographer Kim Taylor.
Originally reported in the Daily Mail online.
Bat in flight drinking from pond.
Add comment September 23, 2009
Okay. Sometime in the past couple of months. One of the updates from Apple has fixed my Mail application and it can now open PDF files correctly. (No, I have no idea why it was not working either.)
This now allows me to migrate from Thunderbird to the Apple Mail tool.
Why? Why Mark? Why are you moving from Thunderbird?
Well, Thunderbird is a good mail client. I may even go so far as to say it is an excellent e-mail client. However. Switching to the Apple Mail client will provide much more access to tools for information management on my Mac. (more…)
Add comment September 18, 2009
Apple’s new tablet?
Once again the Internet rumour mill is abuzz with rumours of an Apple tablet. As a long-time watcher of such rumours, I have to say that this one is more convincing than most. In particular the rumour that Apple have approached newspaper publishers about providing content makes sense especially when you consider that Apple recently added in-application subscriptions for free applications to the Apple app-store.
Consider this, a publisher gives away a free application that takes users to their newspaper’s content, and then sells premium content through micro-subscriptions offered via the app-store. Makes sense as a business model for traditional media. Assuming that Apple attract an iPhone-esk following for the supposed tablet device (and if it offers all the usual Apple design appeal and function of their existing products, I can see that it will) then the appeal for users of the new device to acquire their daily newspaper, at next to no cost compared to the paper and print version, using an application on their tablet device is obvious.
If only Apple can make the device waterproof so we can read out e-books and e-papers while relaxing in the bath…
Add comment October 27, 2009